Egypt, home to the pharaohs for thousands of years, only to be replaced 1000 years later with thousands of tourists. Many seeking the temples, the Valley of the Kings and the only remaining wonder of the ancient world, the Pyramids. Camels would feature heavily in their holidays; they’re a rude, smelly uncomfortable ride to the pyramids combined with the consistent incomprehensible babble of the Arabs. Their helpfulness and kindness soon replaced by the end of their trip with outstretched palm. Money please, Money please, More money please. If you don't your going to end up on the back of a camel for a while longer and have an aggravated Arab waiting for you down below.
But today, Friday the 23rd of February, a few thousands miles from Egypt, getting closer by around 300 miles an hour, we don't expect to see any camels on arrival. I may be wrong, but considering each day will start around 8am boarding a boat and being taken out to the middle of the ocean, I hope not to encounter any camels 20m under the sea. I'm not sure what would be safer, camels or sharks, and big colour spiky fish, that I still don't know the name of, but will not be touching in a hurry.
So what brings me all the way from Snowy Aberdeen (honest) to Sunny (22ยบ so the captain cheerfully announced) Egypt?
I've got my long time mate Ray to thank, his exploits round the world only fed my desire to learn to dive. Ray has been diving for the past five years, starting off in Cairns and for the past 2 years has been coming here (somewhere off in the distance yet!), to Hurghada Egypt. So 2 years ago, I began to learn to dive.
Thanks to Shell I joined their local diving club with the full intention of only qualifying then allowing me to dive in warmer climates, the thought of diving in the North Sea was not really appealing. But after 9 open water dives I'm totally hooked.
Of course, if I didn't get the backing from my wife, whom I've unfortunately had to leave behind with two kids, to come away on my own, this chance of a lifetime would never happen.
So I packed all the diving items I currently own: Snorkel mask, fins, gloves, torch &depth gauge. With a small wave from Samantha, a glance from Sean and a loving kiss from the wife, I headed to the airport myself, yesterday, to meet Ray.
I blame Ray for what happened next, it's never my fault. Of course one drink in the airport bar leads to another, then you can't refuse a free drink on a BA flight, 1hr 20m later we've landed. You would expect a delay in drinking at this stage, but we had a night in a hotel, before flying the next morning, so 20 minutes later were propping up a bar. Again, not my fault, but our meal table was not ready for 1hr, so we had no option but to sample some local Gatwick Bud. Realising this would be the last decent meal for a week, we decided to go the whole hog. ‘Spare Ribs and corn on the cob for starter, sir?’ ‘Would you like a beer with your meal?’ ‘Why of course!’, waitresses can be so friendly in these hotels they just keep bringing you more beer, there was nothing we could do, drink, drink, drink. By now of course, with the excitement of the holiday looming, our heads were beginning to spin a little (due to excitement) and the main course hadn't even arrived! Bring on the Duck! It was delicious! I told the waitresses this, but they just kept bring me more beer. We knew we had to get up early the next morning, and it was only a small bar, so we thought we should call it a night.
Regrets? Not at all. 7.30 am, a small buzzer goes off somewhere, 3 seconds later Ray mobile beeps, 1 second after that my Psion screams out of it, 5 seconds after that the TV wants in on the action and switches on. The increasing frequency of all these noises, the tv getting louder and louder - it was some blonde on the Big Breakfast so it wasn't so bad - eventually stirs myself and Ray from a rather comatose state. Our flight was at 10:15 so with a 2hr checking we were expected to be there by 8:15 - loads of time!
Shower, shave, tea - provided by Ray and very nice it was too - and 08:05 and were ready to go. Half way out the hotel Ray informs me that we have to check in at the south entrance and realise it's a train ride away - oh well 8:15 would be too early anyway! Ray was reminded of his previous year’s trip, where he adventured into London and partied until 3am. Found himself waking up at 9:30 for this same flight. He ran frantically to the airport, loosing the wheels of his suitcase and still managed to check in at 10. So we knew if he managed it last time, we would be fine.
Sure enough, no queues straight to checkin, just after 8:25. With a 9:30 boarding time we thought we had plenty of time for a little breakfast and a little shopping. Those all important diarrhoea tablets I had been warned to purchase were a top priority. A quick call to check the wife hadn't left the kids and me. Unfortunately things weren't going so well for Aenea. Sam misbehaving? Never! The little monkey understood I was away and was obviously pushing Mummy to the limit. And to top it all up there was snow! Leaving my wife at work - how cruel! - We had to continue with our holiday chore and get some Money. Since Ray had organised the whole holiday, he had also ordered some Egyptian money for me - £100. I took another £190 in Travellers cheques - having emptied my bank account and slipping into the red within minutes. Thank God pay-day was on Monday.
Being a Friday, we didn't want to miss that all-important Bacon and Egg Roll, so off we strolled and got robbed in the process. £6.50 for 2 rolls!! What a con, never mind they went down really well.
It was only at this stage, that we began to think about the time. I still wanted to purchase a hat, and we hadn't really looking in any shops yet - apart from a red Herring from Ray, who pretended he could read and almost bought a book. But his memory of his last novel - BattleField Earth - a book he has been reading for around 5 years - reminded him of his illiteracy and swayed him at the last minute. Time, yes, lets look at the board and see what it says about our Flight MON6840 HURGHADA GATE 22 CLOSING! We looked at our watches (we'll I looked at my mobile) 09:35. We were told boarding at 9:30 and could quite believe the board. Again, like this morning, Ray had a surprise for me, we've got miles to go to the departure gates, and we've still got to get through security. Cue Mission Impossible tune and picture Ray and I scarping through Gatwick to evade that look that everyone would give you on a plane. If you were last to board, and had delayed the flight!
Our worries were shortcoming. Even though, every monitor highlighted that the gates were closing we did make it in time.
A lengthy bus ride to the plane and a short delay while waiting for stragglers - giving them that evil look when they board the plane, and we were off.
And here I am. 2pm on Friday afternoon. I've attacked, and enjoying my novel - Michael moorcock Von Bek - stolen batteries from Ray to get this thing working again, beaten him four times at othello and now looking forward to sleeping for an hour or so.
By 4:20pm we expect to be landing in Egypt. Waiting for us are the mysteries of the ocean, I wonder if I will discover any Camels?
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